Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I'm not alone....

My Colleague Nim just sent me this. Apparrently he sent it to his entire university, including lecturers which earned him a 1 month email ban. I think it was worth it don't you?

Hello, my name is *[insert_name_here]*. I am suffering from rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams and fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution. I also suffer from the
guilt of not forwarding 50 billion f***ing chain letters sent to me
by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor
6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be
able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck
parents sell her to a travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe
that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send
"his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I
scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy
model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bulls**t.

Basically, this message is a big F*** YOU to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that
was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and which, if it makes it to the year 2000,
will be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
streak of blatant stupidity. Sod them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest
friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about
90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these
forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't p*** people off by making them feel
guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a
dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents
per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

I particularly enjoyed the comment about the leper in Botswana. :-D


lunaliar said...

I, too, enjoyed the leperous Botswanan comment.

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MattJ said...

Congratulations on being my first transatlantic poster lunaliar :-) If you make all your friends read my blog, your popularity will soar and you will become even more attractive to the opposite sex. If you don't foward this link, your left ear will fall off and small bitey insects will infest your armpits... (etc.)

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