I know it's clichéd to take the piss out of Americans but there is no getting around the fact (or indeed the woman, not without a map, compass, climbing equipment and a few days rations) that this woman was American, so there isn't a lot I can do about this.
We were at a Starbucks in Niagara, Nick and I. We just sat down to drink our beverages next to a family of Behemoths balanced precariously on the surprisingly sturdy chairs. The smallest one had evidently been elected to go order the beverages because the matriarch of the group was doing her best impression of what the Harpies in Jason and the Argonauts would sound like if they were from the deep south. The call was to attract the attention of her long suffering daughter (I assume it was her daughter, she was a smaller, younger sphere with a similar face) to make a request for her beverage:
"Don't forget to ask for mine extra hot!"
I'm sorry if this is a common thing that I am ignorant of but......what?! I mean...how?...what?! OK, my understanding is that the water comes out of the thing virtually in a vapor, that's right isn't it? Does she want to chew the beans and suck on the steam nozzle? Someone explain this to me, please. Are there an elite few coffee drinkers who scoff at us poor saps who have to deal with merely scalding beverages?
These aren't rhetorical questions, I need to know. Maybe it wasn't a family of big fat fatties but they'd been artificially inflated by the steam from there extra hot coffees? I didn't see them tethered down but they could have had particularly heavy shoes they'd had specially made?
inquiring minds need to know