Thursday, May 28, 2009

Place your bets...

How many hours before the NRA organise one of their sensitive rallies? clicky

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

BNP, Standing up for the rights of malnourished Celts

For those of you lucky enough to never have heard of or encountered the British National Party, I can only envy your ignorance.

Think white supremecists in suits.

Anyway, I've had a leaflet from these fetid weasels to do with the European Elections telling me that people like me vote for the BNP. I was, and am, fairly sure that people like me dream of seeing a BNP Vs UKIP last man standing death match, the winner of which gets deported and given a farm in Zimbabwe.

Of course, I could be mistaken.

'It's not racist to be against immigration!'. Yes it is, be quiet you silly little man.

My favourite claim of the BNP (I'm pretty sure the N isn't really for National) is that they stand up for the rights of the 'Indiginous population of Britain'. Given that the last time our population could be considered 'Indiginous' was before the Roman invasion somewhere around AD 50, I'm assuming they mean anyone who can trace their ancestry back to this point.

Of course, this isn't what they mean. After all, what is Britain but the result of a European gangbang? The key is in their policy for repatriation. They are for the 'voluntary' repatriation of non-white immigrants to their country of ethnic origin.

I'm not sure why 'non-white' immigrants. I mean, the BNP definitely are NOT racist - their literature tells us that so it must be true. I think repatriating the whole country to various locations in Europe apart from the inahbitants of some worryingly remote islands could prove logistically difficult. Also, telling the queen to fuck off back to Germany and 'Take your greek boyfriend with you!' might present a few obstacles.

Maybe they're just environmentalists - you know, start with the non-whites. Then move the rest of the population of England back to their countries of ethnic origin, then ultimately the Scotch (for that is what they are called) and the Welsh. That will leave the beautiful British landscape untouched, and also infect various other countries with members of the BNP who will win further elctions. Of course the 'B' will have to be replaced with the name of their new home. Also they'll have to get the national language changed to English so their constituents will understand them - they're BRITISH for God's sake! You can't expect them to be bilingual! This will result in more victories, more repatriations back those indiginous populations countries of origin. Ultimately everyone will be repatriated to a small village in sub-Saharan Africa who's language is entirely based on clicks. This will kill most of us off, thus saving the planet from certain environmental disaster

So. They're not racist. They're radical environmentalists.

Either that or they are brainless, hate filled, billious, exploitative, fear mongering, predictable fuckwits. You decide.

Monday, May 25, 2009

OK, we get it, move on!

For about the last 6 weeks, there has been one 'News' story dominating the British headlines, and that is MPs claiming on expenses.

Let me make something clear here, I agree that the system is broken. I agree that claiming for cleaning your moat is taking the piss, but he's a Tory MP - of course he has a moat!

However. Very little, if any, of what has been reported has broken the rules laid down. The rules are wrong but here's the thing, and there's no getting around it - Changing the rules, and then punishing people for following the old rules when they were in force is not what we do in a free society. There is no room for ambiguity here, you don't do it. You use the abuses of the old system to highlight the need for change, you make the changes, you move on.

Because the Daily Telegraph has made an industry out of this scandal (an industry only rivaled by the Daily Express' continued obsession with a long dead royal), a lot of the genuine abuses are mixed up with perfectly innocent mistakes, but obviously a British journalist couldn't possibly highlight honesty as that wouldn't sell so well. I find it particularly amusing that it is the Torygraph reporting on this garbage, given the fate of Sir Conrad Black.

What do I mean by innocent mistakes? Well, whilst there is no doubt that the cabinet and shadow cabinet are riddled with snakes, weasels and general sycophantic, weak-willed turds, your average MP shouldn't be tarred with the same brush. I hate politicians, but mainly because our electoral system (such as it is) allows them to rest on their laurels.

What I dislike most about this tediously inevitable lazy journalism, is the lack of actual investigation. There are a lot of MPs int his report who submitted claims that were not eligible, noticed the mistake a few weeks later and paid the money back immediately. That's without the aid of what passes for an 'exposé' in British journalism these days. That's right, years ago this was happening and yet they paid it back anyway! One might possibly infer that these people made an honest mistake and then rectified it! Oh Horror!

This, clearly, isn't true of all of these tossers. Although I think Douglas Hogg should get to keep his money, claiming for cleaning a moat cleaning should be rewarded just for the sheer audacity of it!

Remember, all of these claims got approved by someone after they were submitted. Someone approved that moat cleaning - who's that guy?! You don't sack someone for doing what has been done for the last 50 years, just because your shitty system got found out. These are MPs, you either don't select them to run for you next time around or you let the voters choose at the polling stations. Sacking them is just a weak appeasement that solves nothing, other than to make the public feel they've achieved something with their media generated outrage. It's a tried and tested method of controlling the mob.

Bottom line is, the electorate are being played. Pay attention to what's actually going on, calm the fuck down and watch what they are actually doing, otherwise a nice 'Independent Inquiry' will be set up. To appease the squawling masses, a few heads will be put on pikes (no fear, they'll get a few non-executive positions to tide them over). The Inquiry will drag on and on, and maybe some time next year it'll be quietly release suggesting that the rules should be changed so that they are now in Tahoma instead of Ariel.

Lesser of two evils

I'm rejoining the gym after 3 years away. I've not been replaced by a pod person, my choices are simple.

Stop eating food I like and pretend I much prefer eating tofu with soya dressing than curry. Or I do exercise, and plenty of it. Exercise isn't total anathema to me and to be brutally honest, I'll rub scotch bonnets into my eyes before giving up my favourite foods.

When I last went, as with anything I do, it wasn't the doing of the exercise that was the problem. I actually enjoyed most of it. My problem was always actually dragging my arse to the gym. We'll see how I go eh?

Incidentally 'I enjoyed most of it'. Allow me to elaborate. The only thing I dislike more than running, is running on a bloody treadmill. Nothing is more likely to put me into a coma.

That said, I may take up running outdoors and cycling again later in the year when the weather draws in, there are some interesting cross country courses that would take me away from the sociopaths that pass for drivers in Surrey.

Prepare thyselves for a lot of gym whinging.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Wow! That long huh?!

Err yeah, that whole posting every day thing....

So,what's been happening? Here's the break down, let me know if you want me to expand on any of these:

1) I got older - nothing to elaborate on here, I had a birthday - nothing happened. Ooh! except Hannah got me one of these - still needs a test run.

2) I got a bonus and treated myself to a DSLR camera. I got a Nikon D60 (after Jo spectacularly failed to respond to me with advice. She's a Canon fanboy. The Canon\Nikon debate has been described to me in this way "It's like Mac Vs PC, only with Canon vs Nikon thing there is little to no difference in the products" - Oh wait I blogged about the camera already didn't I? AH well!..

3) First test duck shots here

4) Bought a new Lense and tripod for said camera.

5) Went home to Wales, weather was terrible, ruining most of my plans. Did get some pics with the new lens - clicky

6) Whilst home, went out with all my favourite home peoples, it was awesome. Also had mahoosive Sunday dinner from mum. That evening I ate a Phal. It was so hot I could see the end of the universe.

7) Yesterday I went out with the new lens and the tripod and took more pictures, none very good but I'll get there. Clicky

Now. The camera stuff has been bloody expensive and as a result I have decided to sell my Macbook, long story, the short version is that I bought something that I don't really need so I'm selling something that I don't really need. It's the only way I'll learn.

However, first it's going to the Apple store where I will be shouting until they replace the casing.

Errrm. Yup, that's about it! More blogging tomorrow, if I get time in between cleaning, eating and office work I hope to do some blogging.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Lurgy update

After suffering a humiliating defeat in the face of my awesome chili, the deadly lurgy has retreated to my throat, giving up ground in the nose and head almost completely. I am making an enormous breakfast in celebration of the victory, but the war is not won. I may order a follow up attack of curry later in order to prevent a counter-strike.

I've had Stu badgering me to g to the pub since Thursday but not felt up to it. Whilst I could probably murder a pint later I think I am going to duck out again, drunkenness will let the lurgy back in the door tomorrow.

I've taken to drinking lots of water instead of juices and fizzy drinks, I'm sure it won't last but I hope it does, I'm sure a lot of my podgleyness is down to the amount of those drinks I've taken to consuming (especially the evil Ginger Beer!).

It's definitely not attributable to pies, pizza, curry and beer. So no need to cut down on that.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

...and were back to the complaining!

UK mainstream politicians really are the lowest forms of life. I'm not talking about the uses of the expenses system. Yes I agree it's wrong, but as far as I can tell no one has stepped outside the rules and no, it's is definitely not news. This is just lazy 'journalism' picking a subject guaranteed not to polarise opinion and that will sell papers for months to come (as further 'outrages' emerge). Seriously, I don't give a toss - fix the system, move on and watch the new system get abused.

Do you know what would be good to read about in the paper? Something that requires some actual investigative journalism that reveals something serious, not this trivial shit. The supply of Chieftain tanks and fighter planes to countries that actively engage in genocide, that would be an interesting read and would raise some questions don't you think? Why's it left up to comedians to highlight the massive corruption and flaws in our policies?

I've said to a few people that I'm struggling to care about MPs expenses, and all I get is 'but it's YOUR taxes! You MUST care!'. What I mean to say I suppose, is that in the grand scheme of things, I care less about that than the more insidious and evil things that they do. Seriously, this pitiful 'scandal' is gold for these people. Every time the papers focus on something so trivial, they are thanking their deity of choice.

Back to the point. I didn't mean to go off on that tangent, I originally was referring to this story. This is just an example, it could just as easily be David Blunkett, Charles Clarke, John Prescott or any number of other politicians that have come out railing against/in support of the the current administration. The hilarity of David Blunkett talking about integrity and credibility aside, this particular game is one that is played out all the time.

Think of them as hyenas, too pathetic to attack anything with any strength to defend itself, instead waiting for the weak and defenceless to emerge before closing in an biting chunks off. You might think that those in support of whoever is being attacked are actually on his side, this isn't the case. Everyone's simply jostling for position, some trying to put themselves forward for a decent position in the new regime, some doing the same but for the regime after the next. Others have other motives. What they all have in common is that all of their motives are selfish ones.

We see it play out in every single government, it happened to Major, it happened to Thatcher (sadly not before she anally violated the nation) and it'll happen to whoever's next. And every time it happens, it's reported as news.

So. My solution? Stop reporting anything that they say, only report on the things that they do. This whole thing is a contest in who can get the most column inches, radio minutes, TV time. Make them work for it. At least until we come to our senses and try a third way.

Which brings us to the end of this random ramble. The Liberal Democrats. Always touted as the joke party yet consistently get around a quarter of the overall vote. They are touted as a joke because the 'main' parties tout them that way, as does the popular media. ESPECIALLY newspapers. So the main political parties, and those that pin their colours to one of the two main political parties based on the leanings of whichever multi-billionaire media mogul owns them. One could argue that these two groups are the ones with the most to lose from a third way.

OK Matt - you promised a good tempered one right?....

Yes, yes I did. And even though the evil lurgy is fouling my mood I've been having some good times today, and also my summer is shaping up to be immense. I mean properly immense.

So the original plan for today was to go for a bit of a photo-hike with my new DSLR camera, and the compact too (wanted to see different results). However, the lurgy was bothering me. You know the kind, fine one minute, asleep and snorting the next.

So I figured I'd wander up to Bookham to the butcher I use and get some meats, take some pics and wander back. After I got back I would see how I was feeling and either go back out for a proper photo-hike or clean and cook.

As it was, I felt like crap so decided to stay in. I put the chicken breasts, thighs and lamb in the freezer for future use and put the mince in the fridge for a cold-destroying chili later. This cold has messed with the wrong innards.

Anyway, random crappy pics are currently here Mostly taken with in the aperture priority mode, so semi-automatic (sort of) but doubt I would have got any worse results on full auto. Currently deciding between using Flickr or Picasa - each has its bonuses - the pro version of Flickr keeps everything full size and has a few more options, Picasa has a local client and plugs straight into blogger.....

So. Home. Jo has insisted to me that my chili was rubbish and told me to remove the onions. This concept is alien to me, most things are improved with onions, tomatoes or a combination of the two. Anyway, she suggested chipotle puree was the answer to my prayers - unfortunately that doesn't seem to be available here. So, 2 jars of Barts chilis and half jar of crushed chilis. All in all, its come out pretty well, though it tastes pretty similar to my last effort, I think I got some of the ratios wrong. still yummy though, beauty of chili is you have to go a long way to make it inedible! :p

So, on to my summer plans and beyond!

Firstly, I am making my return to Download Festival. At first the line up looked pretty weak, then they included Faith No More. I can't tell you how happy I was when I read that, seriously - I very nearly smiled. The rest of the Friday seems to be a bit of a late 90s Nu Metal revival camp, so will give me an opportunity to check out the other stages for bands I don't know much about like Kill Switch Engage,Bring me the Horizon and Backyard Babies. I won't go through the whole weekend, but this looks like an overall stronger showing than last year - before the other two stages had a very 'overflow' feel to them. This year I'll be spending 2 of the nights watching headliners at the smaller stages. I'll be there with the same crowd as last year, along with a few others.

A few weeks after that, i am off to Glastonbury for the first time. Line up is looking decidedly beige right now if I'm honest, with a few notable exceptions. Nonetheless I am very excited, it's HUGE. Context: Look up 'Sunderland' on a UK map. That's how big Glastonbury festival is when it's up and running. I don't care what kind of podgey bellied, grumpy welshman you are - there will be something there for you. Hoping I'll be there with a friend, if not it'll certainly be interesting!

July, I am considering trying to track down some Nine Inch Nails tickets for the 02, but may use it as a month off, haven't decided yet - whilst they are playing at the next event I am at, my understanding is that they aren't taking their whole stage show to that one.

August - Sonishpere. My love for Metallica was revived from it's deathbed by the release of their latest album. Linkin Park are a pretty big deal. Pretty much every band here is one I am interested in or have an abiding affection for. Alice in Chains - OK, no Layne but Jerry Cantrell is a legend and hopefully William DuVall won't balls it up completely. I got a VIP spot for this one, it wasn't that much more than the regular ones but got some good benefits (hot showers, allocated pitch & parking) - and considering I am going alone (seeing a pattern here folks? lol!) I thought it might be wise, especially as this is the first time this event has been run!

October. 24th. Green Day. Oh yes. I cannot describe how ridiculously excited I was when I heard there were doing a limited UK tour I nearly wept. I had a bunch of other stuff here, almost apologising for liking Green Day. Balls to that, they are freakin' awesome - live with it! There are always 'they sold out' and 'it's not real punk!' people out there, these are the same people who think the only good music was written when they were between the ages of 13 and 17. Otherwise known as morons. American Idiot drew criticism from these people, this monolithic rock opera railing against the Bush administration with every refrain - and that's not punk?! Just because it sounds good, doesn't mean it's not punk. And I'm going to see them, I rule. I rule harder because Pedr is going, and harder still because Hannah is going, as well as an old friend from Hull. We all rule, and everyone who failed to get a ticket in the 4 minutes before they sold out sucks. Hah!

October 25th - Wembley Stadium to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Patriots. Finding it very difficult to give a toss. But hey, check out what else I am doing!

So. Yes, I've been working a lot but I've also been making damned sure that my summer doesn't go missing again.

What the hell is the point of a cold?!

Seriously, it's got to be the crappest affliction on Earth - with the possible exception of ridiculous allergies like dairy/wheat intolerance.

It's just diseasey enough to demotivate you, but not enough to actually warrant a battery of drugs or Doctor visits. It's diseasey enough to keep me out of the office. I hear the cries of 'Typical Man!' from the female population, but this isn't because of the ludicrously inaccurate stereotype of the man being crippled as soon as he gets a sniffle. It's because there is nothing more annoying than someone 'Soldiering On'.

First, no one will thank you for it in 6 months, no matter what you're doing. Secondly - you my friend, are an inconsiderate moron and if it were up to me you'd be fired. While you're bravely 'Soldiering on', the rest of us are picking up you're irritating cold. And will continue to do so, because whilst you're working and not resting, you're prolonging the illness - so instead of it clearing up after a couple of days you're in a perpetual state of having a cold.

Go. Home.

This is particularly true in a job like mine, working from home is perfectly doable.

So. I have this cold. Hence, I am annoyed. Colds annoy me, you may have got that.

It doesn't take a lot to demotivate me, right now I am trying to decide whether to clean the flat or to go out and go for a hike to play with my new camera. The cold is telling me to eat cake and drink tea for 48 hours. A great option, but one I do most weekends.

Another alternative is to clean, wander up to Bookham and buy some meats so I can cook later. I've been chastised for using onions in my chili. I may make a cold busting chili later, without onions. 'Without Onions' is an alien concept to me in most cooking, so I may crumble. Most chili recipes I've found have called for an onion or two. But I'll give it a go, though where I am gonna get chipotle puree from I don't know.

Next post will not be a bad tempered one - it'll be very good tempered in fact, I just needed to vent the bile first. Colds are so bloody irritating.

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