Friday, May 19, 2006

The Hoff is Back!

That's right folks, he's back where he belongs! On cheap exploitative prime time TV!. I'm so moved by this. Now clearly St. Hoff is in the presence of soulless Evil(Cowell), Slimey Scum(Morgan), and Who?!(Brandy).

I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt here. I'm sure he will out-cuprinol Cowell with his Oaken Tan. He needn't worry about Piers Morgan, even his own mother vomits when he walks into a room. And Brandy? A singer she may claim to be but she will crumble before the might of of one of the greatest, most moving songs ever penned by mortal hand:

Some people stand in the darkness
Afraid to step into the light
Some people need to help somebody
When the edge of surrender's in sight

Don't you worry
It's gonna be alright
Cause I'm always ready
I won't let you out of my sight.

I'll be ready
I'll be ready
Never you fear
No don't you fear
I'll be ready
Forever and always
I'm always here.

In us we all have the power
But sometimes it's so hard to see
And instinct is stronger than reason
It's just human nature to me

Don't you worry
Its gonna be alright
Cause I'm always ready
I won't let you out of my sight.

I'll be ready
I'll be ready
Never you fear
No don’t you fear
I'll be ready
Forever and always
I'm always here.

(Instrumental)

Cause I'm always ready
I won't let you out of my sight

I'll be ready
I'll be ready
Never you fear
No don't you fear
I'll be ready
Forever and always
I'm always here.

Forever and always
I'm always here.


Ha! Like The Hoff is a mere mortal! He and Chuck Norris bestride the world like multi-talented Collossi! What a great man to appear on this show and bestow his sage wisdom upon these poor wannabe peons! And after he has spoken to Cowell et al, he can do the same for the hapless contestants.

Just think, the mahogany hued Hoff will soon return to the screen. A happy day indeed readers!

6 comments:

Olivia said...

Ha! The Germans always did have bad taste, can't imagine why they like him...maybe it's because of his monumentally heavy Germanic name.

I say, they can keep 'im.

MattJ said...

Bite your tongue!

Olivia said...

I did, yesterday. It ain't half sore right now. :P

Paddy Duncan said...

I'm with olivia on this one, the Germans do have bad taste and Dave's just one of many examples.

And I'm not going to bite my tongue, Dave believes in freedom of speech.

MattJ said...

The Hoff believes in free speech- He Speaks and Everyone else shuts the hell up an listens to what he has to say.

Der Ozzman said...

Oh my gosh, talk about 80's cheese! For a moment there I thought the 'Hoff" you were refering to was Jimmy Hoffa. I was like, 'they found him'?

 
/* -----------GOOGLE ANALYTICS TRACKING CODE-------------- */ /*------------------END TRACKING CODE-------------------- */