Thursday, April 20, 2006

Cadbury - Have they gone too far?

For years Cadbury's Creme eggs were a seasonal confection produced in the months preceding Easter and continuing to be sold for a little after, at least that is how my brain remembers it. Through various marketing evolutions the Creme Egg is now with us all year round, it is smaller in size than it used to be and the filling has, in my opinion, subtely changed.

It is still, however, fully posessed of it's intrinsic Creme Egginess. It is a little chocolate egg filled with a sweet fondant that spreads joy wherever it goes. They even took the trouble to colour the fondant to have a yellow bit and a white bit just like a real boiled egg. Genius. It's been with us in this form for over 30 years.

Cadbury, manufacturers of this most delicious of embryonic confections, have for years also marketed a chocolate bar called Dairy Milk. A bar of their signature milk chocolate. They also had Whole Nut and Fruit & Nut. Dairy milk with nuts or nuts and raisins. So far so good. In recent years they have expanded their Dairy Milk tinkering operations, mostly to good effect.

We have Turkish delight filled Dairy Milk, Dairy Milk with bits of Crunchie, Dairy Milk with Biscuit, White Dairy Milk (work that one out), Caramel Dairy Milk and many more that sometimes are ill advised (see: wafer Dairy Milk) but usually they are successful crossovers with other of their products.

Imagine my surprise then, when I walk into the local store the day after Easter - hoping to snaffle some cheap Easter Eggs - and see sitting on the shelf 'Dairy Milk - with Creme Egg Filling'.

My head spun! My mind was boggled by this most bizarre of products. I took a few breaths and calmed myself down. 'They've never taken massive steps in the wrong direction before Matt' I reasoned. So I thought, before I leapt to conclusions, I would consult my friends and I would also carry out a comparative study.

I proceeded to purchase the offending bar of chocolate along with a Creme Egg or 3 (multipack discount!). I informed some people of the big news and went about my business eating the chocolate, always on my mind 'Is it Genius or is it Heresy?'. I had to conclude Heresy friends, there is something fundamentally wrong with putting that filling in a bar shaped confection.

The taste is there you understand, the ingrediants are there but there was something nagging at my mind. Was it the incorrect Chocolate:Fondant ratio? Was it the the lack of an Ovum shaped casing around said fondant? Are we just not ready for this level of technology that can transform the Egg filling into the bar?

It's all of the above and more. I feel this step could affect the fabric of the Universe and Cadbury should stop this madness now before they doom us all! The transformation of egg to bar is tantamount ot Alchemy. Seek they the Philosopher's stone?! Where does the madness end? Strawberry fondant in an Orange Shaped chocolate casing?! Do we expect non Crunchie Crunchie bars?

And what of the mini egg? What of them Cadbury? Does a similar fate await all our Almond encased seasonal munchable friends?

So this is a plea. A Creme Egg is to be egg shaped, stop playing God and return to the good old days!


Olivia said...

Hah, a very funny rant :P
Did you get anyone else to try it for you?

Famulus said...

You're getting old. The world has moved on and we must follow. Remember the days when your parents would look at some new fangled device and shake their heads in bemusement? Those times are now upon us too.

I recently found two cars for which I needed advice on how to start them. (No key.) It is madness and we are powerless to stop it.

If you need to vent these frustrations, try to add to the carnage. Invent something diabolical! ;-)

MattJ said...

No Fam! this is different. My friend Emeralsd is of the younger persuasion and she is equally outraged! This is a blight upon the confection landscape and must be stopped, the very universe could be at stake!

MattJ said...

Liv - I refer you to the 'About Me' section. :p

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