Friday, April 28, 2006

Jaffa Cakes - more Culinary Alchemy

Those crazy goddamn fools! They've done it now! The floodgates are open. Mcvities, guardian of Biscuity goodness have crossed over to the the mad, sick world of confectionary perversion.

Blackcurrant Jaffa Cakes. Blech!, I say to you Mcvities! Blech!. I have it on good authority that Berry Blast and an Evilly tempting Lemon and Lime variety are also available. They must know what they are doing, surely? Tesco have already charged forth with this perverse corruption of goodness by producing Strawberry, Rasberry and even Apricot Jaffa Cakes.

I thought there were one or two corporations remaining that were possessed of a soul. That a handful had a social conscience. That some things were too holy, too good, too untouchable, too dear too to our hearts that even those in power would not trifle with them.

Alas, I was wrong. First the Jaffa Cake (I am informed this travesty happened first), then the Creme Egg. To all you people who say 'It's not a big deal' or 'It doesn't taste that bad' or even worse 'It's progress', YOU'RE WRONG!

That's how you let them in! The thin end of the wedge people, what next eh? Banana flavoured gravy? Spherical chips? Eliptical Sheep?! Now is the time to band together, we must march on McVities before they do something horrible to the HobNob and unravel the universe entirely!

2 comments:

Olivia said...

Ew yuck. Jaffa is a name for oranges anyway, the silly people.

MattJ said...

Exactly!

'Burn the Big 'ouse! Are ya with me laads?!' [to be shouted in a west country accent]

 
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