Friday, October 03, 2008

'Tis the Season to be Ranty

Over the years I've acclimatised to stores selling Christmas paraphanalia as soon as Easter is over. OK, in most cases this is an exaggeration but I certainly saw Advent calendars and the like for sale in September.

More worryingly people were bloody well buying them.

Anyway, you live with it and simply content yourself with rolling your eyes in a superior, holier than though (holier cos I know that Christmas is in fucking December!) way.

I can even live with the adverts for Christmas gifts before we've even had the opportunity to carry out the traditional burning of the effigy of a revolutionary papist idolator.

However, this concept of shopping for Christmasin the middle of summer appears to have invaded my family's psyche. My brother sent me a text at the beginning of September declaring how he ahd bought the family's Christmas presents, including mine. Smug fucker.

Then my mum calls me and starts asking what I want for Christmas, she wants to get me 'something useful' and she won't take no for an answer. In fact she has issues with me buying dad presents and goes positively mental if I suggest I am going to spend anything on her. Stupid woman. Or is she? It could be a cunning ploy to illicit more and more thoughtful gifts until she has everything her big heart desires. Devious cow.

Anyway, talk of Christmas anytime before December always confuses me and I block it out as insanity. However, as I've mentioned, she is an insistent woman and not slightly built. So I provided her with a list of options - not something I am accustomed to doing as it's basically telling someone to buy you something which is distasteful. I've tried to keep it reasonable in the vain hope that she sticks to a budget.

So, dear santa. Please give me one of the following:

1) A thing that plugs into my radio in the car that gives me DAB
2) An espresso machine so I can annoy colleagues by drinking coffee that actually tastes of coffee
3) A DVD boxset of the origianl Godzilla movies. AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
4) Super Powers.

I am well aware of the irony in this post.


Olivia said...

Oh my goodness. I haven't even thought about Christmas yet. Is it really reaching the stores there already? At least here we have the distraction of Thanksgiving first. So shop windows are full of brown and gold and leaves and cornucopiae and pumpkins.

MattJ said...

I always forget about Thanksgiving, and every year I am surprised to discover it exists lol!

Has anyone else noticed that most of out holidays seem to celebrate something decidedly unpleasant happening?!

Olivia said...

No...which ones?

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