Creationism Part II -

After attacking the Creationist buffoons of Kansas in my previous postings, it's time to even the balance. A fine point was made by Amateur Theologian, Mike, in the comments section of the previous post dealing with this subject. For those of you too bone idle to go check it out (although you should, it's very entertaining) I will summarise here for you.

Given that Creationism suggests that a 'Higher Power' cobbled together a whole world and it's internal Gubbins all in 7 days then Mike suggests that it should be no trouble for this Divine Being to knock a few new animals together for us. We both agree that the standard creatures we've enjoyed over the years have their place but are actually quite dull. It's time for some originality, some new and interesting creatures for our entertainment. If we don't like some of the new creatures this 'Higher Power' produces we can just do what we did with all the other rubbish animals and hunt them to extinction!

So come on Higher Power, pull your finger out and give us some new animals!

Now I am going to reproduce current suggestions for new animals, please feel free to add your own in the comments and I will continually update this post whenever a worthy new animal is put forward.

Animal by Mike, named by Matt

The Squow:

I'm glad to see that Creationist viewpoints are finally being recognised as valid. This obviously means that soon this "higher power" will get bored and make some new animals and stuff; after all, the ones we've already got are pretty tedious (why else would we make them extinct)?

I look forward to the day that I open my bedroom curtains and gaze down upon some brand new creation that this "higher power" has cobbled together overnight. I mean, if as some sources would have us believe, higher powers can make a world in a few days, surely they can build some sort of cow/squirrel cross for our amusement in a single evening?

Talk about resting on your laurels! Get off your idle butt, "higher power" and give us some new species to endanger! NOW!

It should be noted that a modification to the Squow was suggested that would introduce elements of larger cats to improve their Evil Grey Squirrel Squishing capabilities. Thus the new animal would have the 'Speed of the Puma/Poooma'. This new hybrid would be called the MooSquooma.

My own humble suggestion is as folows:

The Chew-ow-aaaaargh!

Personally I am in favour of some kind of Lycanthropic creature. You know? Like a Chihuahua that transforms into some slavering beast whenever it hears the word 'Diddums' or something similar and proceeds to rend and devour it's stupid owner. This has the added bonus of ensuring the extermination of Paris Hilton.

Come on God! you've got two diamond suggestions now! You don't even have to do your own thinking! Bring on the Squows and Chew-ow-aaarghs! and chuck in some flying monkeys while you're at it!

Come on people! Our divine being is clearly out of practice, lets give him as many ideas as we can so that his creative juices get flowing. If we get enough support perhaps we can all soon be enjoying a world where the gentle Squow roams free, skipping from branch to branch and chewing the cud! More importantly Paris Hilton may be a thing of the past!