Pirates of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest - Accurate review
I love this website. Please go to Ask A Ninja and find Special Delivery 1, his explanation of what a podcast is. As Nick says 'It's like Strongbad in human form'.
Everything you wanted to know about Honey Badgers but were afaid to ask.
I love this website. Please go to Ask A Ninja and find Special Delivery 1, his explanation of what a podcast is. As Nick says 'It's like Strongbad in human form'.
Posted by
MattJ
at
5:09 pm
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That's right! My pearls of wisdom are stretching across the Galaxy! It's only a matter of time before my Extraterrestrial followers come to this planet to create my Squowtopia!
Posted by
MattJ
at
9:58 pm
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comments
Or so my DS would have me believe, for today my brain is 59! I mean.......59! It seems like only yesterday I was enjoying the active synapses of a spritely 25 year old...... I remember it well....
Of course the DS Lites back in my day weren't like these new fangled devices you young 'uns use today, they were just pipe dreams back when I were a lad...
OK I have to defend myself here. I did really well on the first two random tests but the third one was a 'memorise as many words as you can from this list then write them on the screen' test. Which would have been fine if the bloody thing could read my Ks or Gs. So basically the ones I had memorised I couldn't write and it wasn't until I had 15 seconds left that I noticed a rather nifty auto correct function it has. Ho Hum.
'Course Stuart could be right and the machines could be taking over?
Anyway, me and Nick have been accessorising today. All the cool gear comes from overseas so have a fairly nice looking case coming, a Docking bay and - best of all - a thing that plugs into the Game Boy Advance slot. This will allow me to put movie files onto an SD card and watch stuff on the Lite.
Many people enter a 'Ooooooh! New Toy!' few days after buying stuff, luckily I am not affected by this phenomenon
Posted by
MattJ
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6:55 pm
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But the willpower of a 3 year old child with ADD that has been left alone in Mr Fun's 'Chocolate, Sweet, Large Cuddly Toy and Ball Pool' Emporium.
So we've now been to the following stores in the search for PC Surround sound speakers:
Posted by
MattJ
at
10:03 pm
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So you'll remember that I left the saga at the cancelled dinner plans stage? With Nick coming over to look at my shiny new monitor and jab my PC until it did things it was meant to do.
The Monitor arrived fine, I set it up merrily and downloaded a funky new Windows Theme to celebrate my new sharp pictureness. Nick came round and I installed Prey to see how the Monitor performed*. So I stick the disk in and install it, boot it up and........
All works fine, except that my speakers are barely audible. They have always been a bit tempermental, the sub woofer often needs a firm and sharp application of technical pressure from a pedal extremity. This usually rectifies my audio issues but sadly, this time it was not to be. They are 5 years old and a fairly cheap set of 5.1 speakers so I didn't begrudge having to replace them, little did I know that this was just the first step in some grander design of an unseen force.....
Nick was more than amenable to a trip to Leatherhead, so we checked a few prices online and figure we should be able to get a half decent set of 5.1's for around forty quid. We went to Leatherhead, checked Dixons (now Currys.digital) - they only had 2.1s in. Checked the 2 computer shops - only one of them had 5.1's in and they were overpriced and didn't look nearly as cool as the Logitech ones we'd seen cheaper on their website. They didn't have those ones sadly. So we went to Argos, flicked throught the catalogue to discover that the only suitable ones were around 60 quid.
'Piss!'. I said, philisophically.
'We could go to Epsom, there are loads of shops there - they're bound to have loads of stuff. We'll still be within 20 minutes of a computer too. Well.......... ish' Replied my helpful companion.
So we went to Epsom. We parked in the Ashley Centre. The Ashley Centre in Epsom is notable in a variety of ways, allow me to educate you:
Things to Know About the Ashley Centre in Epsom:
- There are no stairs down from the car park into this shopping centre.
- Apparently it's a Mall, not a shopping centre. Somewhere there is someone who is paid far too much money who knows what the difference is**.
- It has many, many mobile phone retailers under its roof. And a place that sells frozen gourmet food. And various clothes shops.
- Electrical and/or Computer related stores are conspicuous in their absence.
- John Major could write a book called 'Variable Rate Mortgages in Pre-Wilson Britain' and it would have more marketing 'fizz' than the name of this place. I mean, come on. The Ashley Centre - sounds like a Young Offenders Institute.
- The Lifts were designed by the same team that designed Limbo, only this time they got it right.
Posted by
MattJ
at
8:55 pm
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comments
I feel this is going to be a long post as I would like to take you through my Saturday - What Was Meant to Be, What Actually Was and Finally - Logical Justification. With that in mind I am going to split it up into several posts so that people don't get bored and try and hang themselves with their own tongues. I know - I'm all heart.
In the Beginning There was The Plan.....
So here is the original plan or the weekend:
Saturday -
1) - Shiny new 19" LCD Monitor arrives. Finish Cleaning room in flat, install shiny new monitor. Take old 19" CRT Monitor, which is so big it has it's own gravity, and transfer to front room for future disposal (any suggestions?).
2) - Go to Cobham Tesco to get some Red Mullet and some other bits and bobs for meal I am cooking in teh Evening.
3) April comes over, eats scrummy food - few drinkies, kick back and relax.
Sunday
1) Get up really early, head to Mark and Helen's place in Guildford, there to meet up with other people including Hannah and Rob.
2) Head to West Wittering beach for day out
3) Back to Mark's for Barbeque.
Posted by
MattJ
at
8:21 pm
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Just got sent this quote:
"Some observers have suggested that blogging is nothing more than the next step in a burgeoning culture of narcissism and exhibitionism spurred by reality TV and other elements of the modern media environment"
Posted by
MattJ
at
9:44 am
2
comments
One Man, One Vote. He's the Man and he has the Vote.**
Opinion polls suggest most Americans back the research, which scientists hope will lead to cures for illnesses like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
Posted by
MattJ
at
9:39 am
3
comments
I got in to work at 5:30am.
While I was aware that there were two 5:30s in a day, until now it has always been in some kind of mythical context. You know, like the Bogeyman or a good Jeffrey Archer novel.
Posted by
MattJ
at
6:38 am
3
comments
I have been a pharmaceutical company's dream consumer this weekend. I developed a lurgy on Thursday/Friday which prevented me from doing any serious partying at Nim's leaving bash and generally left me feeling Blech! all weekend.
I chose to combat this by consuming twice my own body weight in overpriced lemon drinks. I'll also be visiting the doctor this afternoon in the hope of securing powerful delurgification mojo. Normally I would just lame-out of work and wait for the lurgy to go bother someone else, in my experience this makes it go away faster and also stops colleagues from hunting you down and beating you up once you've kindly donated the festering plague to them. Anyway, I am officially in 'Soldiering On in a Curmudgeony Fashion' mode.
Ok so we've established that I have a lurgy and a busy week at work (always time to blog people!). Tomorrow morning I have to be in work by about 5:30 am, please don't ask why - I just do OK? Now I don't sleep so well, at least not before about 2am. For this reason I have taken emergency pharmaceutical measures to ensure I get more than an hour and a half sleep. I got some over the counter 'Sleep Aid'. I assume this is a euphamism for 'Just weak enough to not constitute a prescription'. Anyway, I bought these pills for one night only so to speak in the vain hope of being able to function past 9am.
These pills have caused me some confusion - I remember taking them many years ago when 'trouble sleeping' was an understatement of gargantuan proportions. It was easy, you ate a pill and at some point fell asleep. Now it appears to be different.
Me: Hello, I'd like some Nytol please
Surly Chemist: One a night or two?
Me: Errrrmmm........what?
Surly Chemist: The one-a-nights are stronger than the two-a-nights
Me: *confused look*
Surly Chemist: Some people find that one of the 2 a night ones is enough.
Me:.......ok......
*At this point my ability in forming a sentence isn't being impeded by my initial confusion but rather by the severe and repeated Tongue Biting I have had to engage in*
Me: I'll take the one a night ones please.
WARNING: May Cause Drowsiness. If affected do not drive or operate machinery. Avoid drinking alcohol.
Posted by
MattJ
at
1:32 pm
2
comments
My blog is a bit messy. I am a professional geek and I ought to be ashamed of myself. Hopefully at some point over the weekend I will get the opportunity to familiarise myself properly with this silly pointy bracket language and tidy up a bit. I foresee getting carried away though - watch this space.
PS
I quite like the standard theme though so don't expect big things!
Posted by
MattJ
at
4:44 pm
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comments
I've decided to do a lifestyle commentary style post. My target for today is the South of England. For those of you of a foreign nature, when referring to The South in England people invariably mean the South East. It really is like a separate little nation down here.
I moved down here about a year ago from Yorkshire where I spent 4 years living in quite a rough city. I grew up in North Wales and have friends pretty much all over the country right now. The point I am trying to make is that I really have got a fair amount of comparative data.
OK so lets just list a few indisputable facts about Surrey (where I live and from what I can tell the distilled essence of what it is to live in the home counties) first.:
Posted by
MattJ
at
2:04 pm
3
comments
Matt 'Who Needs Facts When You Have Spin' Jones reporting:
Hello Friends! Welcome to this special report on this most special of days! Why so special you ask? Well, finally we are catching up with the advanced terror detection techniques of our Transatlantic cousins. That's right, the government is going to be publishing what they feel the current threat of terror is on a given day.
While it's true that we haven't quite reached the level of technology where we are able to colour code abstract concepts, we have been able to categorise Terror into 7 distinctly vague and non-specific headings. The Americans have promised us their pigmentation technologies in due course but this is certainly a step in the right direction for those of us that dream of an Orwellian future.
So here follows the 7 categories. I have taken the liberty of explaining each level of Terror for you and given an example of what shape that terror may take alonog with any necessary action. Each increase in Terror level should incorporate all activities in previous levels:
THREAT LEVELS
- Negligible
- People of Middle Eastern descent exist.
- Action: Treat them with suspicion and/or hostility. Read the Daily Mail.
- Manifestation - Suspicious (ie: not white) characters hanging about the place
- Low
- People of Middle Eastern descent may live in this country, perhaps in your area. They may engage in activities and/or conversations.
- Action: In addition to the above, the Daily Express is recommended for keeping up to date on the hundreds of millions of terrorist illegal immigrants that flood our land each day.
- Manifestation - Suspicious(ie: not white) characters hanging about the place
- Moderate
- There may be liberals abroad in your communtity. These subversives fraternise and mask Terror oriented activity.
- Action: In addition to the above the most important thing to do is not to listen to their lies! They will attempt to prove things using 'Facts' and 'Overwhelming Evidence'. These are tricks of Terror sympathisers. When in doubt listen to our beloved leader reassuring us about how unsafe we are. Anyone you hear spouting lies about tolerance and sensible control should be noted down and handed in at the appropriate time....
- Manifestation - Inoffensive seeming people being members of the 'Liberal Democrats' Terror sympathisers. Clearly anyone even vaguely Asian who is also a member of this group is to be treated with the highest suspicion.
- Substantial
- Violence occurs in the world somewhere.
- Action: Assume it is carried out by Arabs, become more fearful of people in non-standard Chav or Office wear. Or if they aren't white. Remember to read The Mail - it will reinforce your rightly felt fear of Muslims.
- Manifestation - An increase in BBC news reports covering violence with their trademark abridgement. There is often no mention of Islamic extremism in stories of violence. Why is this? Who do they really serve?....
- Additional Action - Become more Suspicious of BBC and Channel 4 News - Recommned SKY News, Fox News Streams and ITV.
- Severe general
- Something bad may happen to someboday in the world at somepoint. Probably perpetuated by a Muslim or an Evil Minion of a Muslim. Possibly killer Muslim robots, though this is unconfirmed
- Action: Only buy White goods made in nice countries like China.
- Manifestation - Bad things happening to people reported on the news - Lack of Killer Muslim Robot reports - this may or may not be a continuation of a joint media blackout engineered by the Liberal Democrats and the BBC
- Severe defined
- As above except that our glorious leader has come forth and spoken to the people.
- Action: Listen, enraptured. Believe all that eminates from the Holy Visage of Tony. He cannot give you evidence, that would only serve to aid the Muslim Terror perpetuators and their Malicious Mechanised Minions!
- Manifestation - Our heroic leader will speak to the people, telling them of the vision of Terror he has had. There will be those who use facts and may or may not specialise in the areas He speaks of, but they do not possess the Holy One's insight or vision! Further corruption of the truth by the Liberal Media - reports of Killer Mechanised Muslim Machines of Megalithic Magnitude still conspicuous in their absence.
- Critical
- This indicates a real and apocalyptic Muslim attack.
- Action: Quake in Fear and pray that Tony will deliver us before the Mechanised Gargants constructed in the blackened Muslim Volcanos crush us all beneath their iron shod boots.
Manifestation - Muslim Robots powered by the blood of Christian puppies stampede across the world converting all non Muslims and eating white people. No pictures exist as the Muslim run BBC blacks out reports. Tony takes the helm as 'Supreme Defender' and crushes teh BBC for our own protection.
Posted by
MattJ
at
1:04 pm
2
comments
I've been following this case for a few years, and this decisions really has demonstrated the utter spineless nature of the British Government. I think it's about time we dropped the G from GB, it's no longer fitting.
Now don't get me wrong, the man deserves to be sentenced for his crimes as he did illegally access those computers. What is completely ignored is the manner with which he did it - he didn't hack any code or do any actual damage to the system, he just typed in 'administrator' as the password on random terminals remotely. As the security was so pitifully lax, he gained root access immediately and went about his business snooping.
The claim is he caused $700,000 of damage to computers. Now, if you cause $5000 or more worth of damage on individual machines through illegal hacking activities apparently the sentence is far more severe. Coincidentally the US military are claiming $5000 worth of damage on each of the machines Gary accessed. Now these weren't especially built military machines, these were just standard office PCs. Go down to Future Shop in the states and find me a 5k computer and I will show you the most powerful gaming machine money can buy, with a 21" TFT Monitor and twin 256 MB SLi cards. It would probably respond to hand signals and make your breakfast for you.
More importantly it would probably slap you until you stopped being an incompetent retard and changed your password.
Just to be sure they also played the standard US Government "9/11 card" - you know the one, where they justify anything in the world by cheapening the loss of innocent life to excuse the loss of more innocent life. In this instance Gary allegedly crippled the system immediately after 9/11. Pretty serious stuff........well.....you know, if they could actually come up with any evidence that there was actually a systems failure let alone whether Gary Mckinnon caused it.
That's the thing you see. I have no objection at all to criminals being extradited. Gary is a criminal, there is an argument that suggests his crime took place on British soil but in my opinion the crime took place on an American target, so a standard extradition request I think could be jsutified. What I object to is the fact that they want to throw him in jail for the rest of his life and they have yet produce a single grain of evidence to support their wild claims of electronic apocalypse. That alone should be enough for the Home Office to block the extradition until such a time as evidence is produced.
I think the US Military are right to try and prosecute but instead of inflating the crimes out of all proportion, they should give him the sentence he deserves and sort out their woeful security - which incidentally Gary Mckinnon tried on several occasions to inform them of. Another worrying thing is that lots of other people were on the system with him, and I doubt they were as benign. Now I know we only have Gary's word for this but let's be honest - if he managed to get in with a downloaded script and guess at some passwords, it's going to be likely other people did too.
If you object to this, just ask yourself this question. If this was China or Russia or some other 'Bad Country', do you really think this extradition would have been granted?
Anyway, this is kind of the straw of lameness that broke the camel's back. Our government is nothing short of putrid, spineless filth. I can't believe I used to vote for them.
Posted by
MattJ
at
4:29 pm
4
comments
Greetings people! I haven't been posting for a while, the last major one was a bit serious and frankly I should have taken the piss more with it and left the serious commentary to other people! So here I present to you the Stephen Colbert address to the whitehouse press association dinner. The man has balls of steel! Apparently the press didn't find it funny, perhaps because he was less than kind about the alleged 'integrity' of the Whitehouse press Corps. Anyway, enjoy.
Posted by
MattJ
at
1:13 pm
7
comments