New mockery

My dad gets home from hospital today. A problem occurred to me last night and it's a tricky one. I've been able to mock him for the way he walks for a few years now and I've been in something of a comfort zone using the John Wayne jokes and 'Get off your horse and drink your milk' line. Now he is fixed, however, I need to find some other thing to latch on to in order to hold my own in the on going insult/mockery league which we entered into when I was about 3.

"Old" jokes are tired and passe, so suggestions on a postcard. I still have the fact that he looks like and extra out of Lord of The Rings so I am not totally defenceless. My current thought is some play on the 6 million dollar man theme : "Stronger, Faster, and with augmented hearing that makes his selective deafness even more acute!".

The man is strange though. He is happy to discount anything that has been frozen as 'made of crap' yet will happily wolf down a Black pudding, which is basically a fried blood clot, and call it 'proper food'.

Anyway, busy day so more later.