Ode to Emi, Burning Light [ed:(Love)]of My Life

[NB: All Bold-type and bracketed text including the title are post Emi-Comment Edits I've added to reflect her observations of the original post]

Ok, So Emi is ill [Dying]. She's really quite [literally at Death's Door] poorly. As a result, she isn't in a particularly chipper mood. Earlier in the day I have been cast [Perfectly Justifiably] as evil incarnate and a product of Satans own Backside for not mentioning her enough in my blog . Luckily [In a grandly magnanimous gesture] she has provided me with plentiful material for her own mini-post.

So she's sick [Mortally ravaged with disease] and she has to do some [Gruelling] online test thing that counts towards her degree [Bastards]. She needs a password to get into the testing system, which they email her to her University Email account. Which is broken. So here's the equation so far:

Poorly [Dying] Emi = Bad Mood
Poorly Emi [Dying]* [Devil's own workforce intent on the corruption of all things good (For all things good read: Emi)]Incompetent Uni IT Staff = 'Stop Pulling My Face Off, I Need That!'

However, being calm, collected and together she was not to be foiled [by stupid Boys] and took the standard stock approach to the problem. Keep hammering your details to the email system with increasing outbursts of profanity until the useless piece of crap works.

Eventually [Even though dying] she got into the system and is primed to take some [evil] test on Medieval literature or some such. It does beg the question, what the hell are they thinking putting a test up online for English Students [Bastards]? I mean, if they wanted to mess around with things that invariably don't work [Bastards] like they are supposed to they would have done Computer Science surely?

Anyway, now she knows the secret of 'How Technology Works' she should have no further problems. Remember: Swear, Hit, Retry thing You tried 1 thousand times. repeat with increasing vehemence.

Oh. The title, similar to something Emi [Cleverly and with Immense forethought] suggested I use as a post about her. So why did I agree? well firstly, she is pretty damned ace [damned right].

Secondly - She's lovely but she's tired, ill [Dying] and [Full of sharply observed pearls of Wisdom] annoyed. I don't care if she is 250 miles away, I know what's good for me [Clearly not, you're a dead man].