Sunday, March 01, 2009

Closing the drapes

I supposed to be in Oxford yesterday visiting a friend, I was promised curry and crumble. Unfortunately, she was moving and realised that getting back from Birmingham at 1am, starting the move at 5am, then preparing a meal and enduring an evening of my company did not make for a stable mind.

I did highlight this earlier in the week, so it was not exactly a surprise - but any loss of curry or crumble is a shock to the system, even when you are pretty sure it's coming. Time will heal the wounds, but the memory of what could have been will never fade.

I was up pretty early having had a pretty liquid evening on Friday. Apparently I had some kind of premonition about the cancellation because there was a virtually intact curry all plated up and covered in my fridge that I had purchased the night before. I couldn't work out why it was so intact, then I found the tell tale signs that I had ordered multiple courses, Nan and side-orders. I seemingly didn't get around to the main course. I don't usually order so many bits, and then I noticed that I had used my own rice. I know my brain so I can make a good guess at my astounding fiscal logic:

Brain: There's no need to order rice, I have plenty
Counter-brain: That's a good point. You've got that nice lime and coriander stuff
Brain: Yes, yes I have. Yummy.
Counter-brain: That saves some monies, we rock!
Brain: Indeed we do.
Counter-brain: ....
Brain: What's that look?
Counter-brain: They have chicken tikka and onion budgies. If we're saving all that money by not ordering rice, we could have a feast fit for a king!
Brain: How much contact have you had with royalty exactly?
Counter-brain: The queen drove past our primary school once, do you remember? We had a flag.
Brain: Uh-huh. Back to your proposal. Will we get through all that food? We're pretty steamed - I don't want to fall asleep in the mint yoghurt
Counter-brain: You know you're going to lose this debate right? Apart from anything else you are too drunk to do sums
Brain: Fair point, let’s stare at the menu for 10 minutes then order the same things as always but with some superfluous extras
Counter-brain: w00t.

The rest of yesterday was a mixed bag - my oven & grill seems to be knackered which is annoying - I had to fry my breakfast. Incidentally, I noticed that sometimes the difference between breakfast and dinner is chips. Sausages, bacon, egg, toast - maybe tomatoes or beans - that's breakfast. Remove the toast; add chips and you have comfort dinner.

But I get ahead of myself, before breakfast I drove to Epsom as I had decided to buy some DVDs and the like to occupy my day. My car was utterly filthy, it was looking more grey than black. The car park I used has one of those car cleaning gangs, so I decided to have it cleaned inside and out whilst I was mooching.

I wandered in to town and picked up the excellent Assassin's Creed game for my 360, as it was going cheap. I also got all 3 Matrix movies for a tenner. I only really like the first one as they disappear up their own arse after that, but for ten quid I am not going to get too upset. I also picked up Spawn - a movie I remember being OK, but after watching it again I realise that it was almost criminal in its awfulness. I hope someone else has another crack at it though.

On the way back to the car it occurred to me that I had paid less for 3 blockbuster movies than I was paying to get my car cleaned. I want to send Keanu Reeves a letter which tells him this fact. I like to think he would read it and say 'oh! Dude! Like....totally'.

Oh yeah - the title of the post! I was walking back to the car and noticed a few shops closing down; I initially thought that this was a sad sign of the recession. But then I noticed they all seemed to be bedding stores. There are like 5 of them on 100 yards of high street. Now Epsom isn't a massive place, I don't care how duvet-crazy the local populace is, surely there isn't enough business to sustain neighbouring quilt-vendors? The one that is closing hadn't diversified into drapes and wrinkly people floral patterns. Evidently, that's where the money's at!


Olivia said...

Oh sometimes there's nothing better than breakfast for dinner - it always tastes better.

I realize the first Matrix movie is officially better than the next two, but I still like them all for their awesome effects and making black cool again. Of course, enough years have passed that whatever they pioneered has been done 100 times already.

the projectivist said...

omg i larrrfed, Matt!

oh lordy!

i bet that once you sent that letter to Keanu a kind of penpal thing would kick off, and the next thing you know, he'd be offering you a cameo in his next film "Runaway Bus VI"

it has hit written all over it.

you forgot to mention whether you were satisfied by the quality of the car cleaning crew.

MattJ said...

@Olivia: I think i may have slightly misjudged the sequels, having watched them again. Personally, i think they could have beenfitted from a few less effects (just how many billions of smith fights do you need?!). I think the ending was lame and inconclusive and looked like they sort of realised that they couldn't actually end it so stuck one in that made no sense. Still, I'm glad I watched them again.

@the projectivist: He's in the remake of 'The Day teh Earth Stood Still' as an alien incapable of displaying human emotion - finally a role he can play!

MattJ said...

@the projectivist: Just remember, mental health problems are only allowed to be funny until they become diagnosed. At this point, mockery is frowned upon :p

Olivia said...

yeah, the fight with a million Smiths was a bit frustrating, though once again, a first of its kind at the time.

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