Monday, January 19, 2009

Superbowl Sunday - see that Kurt? SUNDAY

So as it happens, the mighty mighty Steelers put the evil, baby-eating Baltimore Ravens back in their box and are on their way to Tampa for the Superbowl.

This creates a problem. They play the Arizona Tardinals a team that hasn't won since 1947, in fact I think this may be their first appearance in the playoffs since then. Anyway. They suck. A bizarre run of form coupled with opponents who apparently forgot that they were required to play has put this bunch of arsebiscuit in the Superbowl. This means it could be a massively humiliating defeat for my mighty Steelers.

I really don't like the Tards. I dislike their coach, and I really don't like their QB. I don't object to people believing in God, I don't object too much to Christians, the proper ones are generally quite nice. Even people who accept awards who thank God only make me vomit in my mouth a little bit these days. People I really can't stand are the people who ram it down your throat at every available opportunity.

Step up Kurt Warner, the Tardinals QB. Now all the commentary teams tell you what a great guy Kurt is and how he's been through a lot and is still a really good guy. I can only assume that 'Good Guy' in this context means 'Believes in a Christian God'. Every single game he has to thank Jesus in a variety of different and ever more verbose ways. Like Jesus watches Fox. But even as he is vomitting forth his homoerotic plattitudes to this illusory father figure, he is basically calling everyone else int he world a wanker. Seriously, look at it with me here. Remove the sentences that look like this from every winning post match interview:

"I know I say it all the time but I gotta thank my Lord Jesus Christ, he got me through this"

"Jesus helped me win today"

"Did I mention I believe in Jesus?@

Now look at the content:

"No one believed in me, I'm gonna prove them wrong"

"People always overlook me but with Jesus' help I'll keep going"

Balls like that.

OK. Firstly, if Jesus is helping you that's fucking cheating. At best it's an illegal formation, at worst a performance enhancing deity.

Secondly, quit whining. You got voted league MVP twice and also got a Superbowl MVP award, who exactly is overlooking you you fucking nutjob?

Kurt is very keen to tell anyone who will listen what a fervent Christian he is.
Don't get me wrong, I don't care that he's a Christian so much that....... No wait... that was the end of the sentence. I don't care that he is a Christian - so STOP FUCKING BANGING ON ABOUT IT!

But while you do go on about it, at length, whether anyone one wants you to or not - Answer me this Kurt, what's the deal with the whole working on a Sunday thing? You strike me as the kind of chap who is dumb enough to take the Bible literally, you do know that wearing clothes of two different weaves is a stoning offence right?

OK, maybe I should leave the guy alone and so long as he has the good grace to lose, I will :)


Jo said...

Seriously. Get off the Football. It's bad for you.

And I cannot stand Roethlisberger. He's an idiot.

Sorry. Had to do it.

MattJ said...

He's a QB, of course he's a prick! :p

No more football until Superbowl, I promise!

Olivia said...

Most of my friends in London use the F-word a lot when talking about Jesus and the "God botherers".

It took me ages to admit to them that I used to go to church.
Ah well...

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