Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Hellelujah

I don't object to cover versions of songs, even awesome songs. I want that understood right away.

However (yeah, you didn't see THAT coming!). BAD cover versions are just painful. It's like when Wil Smith stars in remake of a classic movie, or a wildly inaccurate movie version of classic literature. It's essentially pissing on genius. It's the difference between eating at a nice restaurant and stuffing a shit burger down your gullet so you can start playing with the free toy.

OK, the point:

Leonard Cohen is a genius. He makes you want to slash your wrists whilst necking a bottle of pills and hurling yourself off a bridge into oncoming traffic. That's a powerful guy.



Jeff Buckley's intensely awesome cover version.

Clicky (embedding is disabled on this track for some reason)

Seriously, I may get lynched for saying it but I think Buckley's version is just astounding and prefer it to the Cohen original.

Then there is this:



Which is essentially an exercise in demonstrating vocal range.

Now it's true I have a natural bias against anything vomited forth into the world by Simon Cowell, I think he is an evil and insipid shit who's sole purpose is to destroy art in all its forms. But that's not what I object to the most, it's the way that she sings the song. It's utterly without feeling or any attempt at understanding the lyrics, the entire track is sung in a 'Look at how well I can sing! Look! Look! Look at me! Look!' kind of way. You know, all R'n'B since 1988.

Compare that with the way it's sung by Jeff Buckley. I mean. You tell me, which is the shit-burger that may just satisfy for 5 minutes and which is the amazing meal and restaurant you are going to go back to time and again?

Honestly, I've not been this angry about a song since Busted covered Teenage Kicks by the Undertones.

**************************

There's a bit of a backlash against people like me, who despise reality TV with every fibre of their being - ESPECIALLY popularity/beauty contests like the X-Factor. Apparently I am a snob. The idea of sticking my head in raw sewage fills me with revulsion, not doing that doesn't make me a snob. Watching shows like this illicit a similar feeling, so I'm not sure where the snobbery comes in when I refuse to watch. If someone sticks their head in raw sewage and then asks me what my favourite used sanitary towel in the raw sewage is, on the immediate assumption that I too enjoy sticking my head in raw sewage, then I am going to voice an opinion on the subject. If then, raw sewage is poured liberally into 80% of the country's food, again on the assumption that raw sewage is where all the kewl kidz are at, then my ire will be raised even further. Hence this overdue posting.

Never let it be said that I under stretch a metaphor.

Also, I watch some right old crap. Seriously, I watch some awful things. My biggest viewing vice will be B-Movies and the like, especially horror, monster or Kung-Fu flicks. Some are so bad they are good, some make you feel someone has mugged you and stolen 2 hours of your life. But I love them all from the amazing Evil Dead I&II right down to 'Frogs!'*. Oh. And Troll II. Everyone should see Troll II. A movie so bad, it's working title was 'Goblins' but in an effort to increase ticket sales they called it Troll II in order to imply it was a sequel to a moderately more successful movie.

Anyway, I digress. I watch some right old crap, but the crap I watch is actively sought out and isn't the only thing on network TV before 9pm.


/rant.

EDIT:I totally forgot the silver lining! Leonard Cohen needs the money, so at least all those bleating sheep that bought this piece of crap have given their money to a worthy cause, as have all the more discerning people who bought the Jeff Buckley version in retaliation! /EDIT



*in which there are no frog related deaths, or indeed frogs. they do manage a gecko related death, a moss related death, a tree related death (evil tree, but no tree rape as in the Evil Dead) and an implied turtle related death. I can only assume the sheer horror of a deadly killer turtle was deemed too gruesome and disturbing for the unsuspecting audience.

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