Friday, August 29, 2008

Temporary Permanent Accomodation

After 3 years living in the same place I've decided to acknowledge that my time in Surrey and in this flat may not be quite as temporary as I'd first envisioned. Work as gone well and the lack of any commute appeals to my desire not to become a homicidal maniac.

Dave moves out at the weekend, he's got a part-owned flat further down the M25 and for September at least I've decided to go it alone again, mainly because of constraints on my time but partly by design. I'd prefer to live on my own permanently of course, but there is that whole 'doubling of the bills' thing to contend with - seriously cuts into my 'wasting money on crap no one needs' budget.

Anyway, I decided against the part ownership thing, the commute, the uncertainty at work at the time and the fact that I was dealing with a self important agent who was nothing more than a glorified typist (I won't say secretary, they actually do something of value) al put me off the idea. So I bought a car.

Don't try to follow the logic, you'll just get dizzy.

Anyway. After 3 years I've decided it might be worth putting some actual real furniture in my flat to make it look more like a place where someone lives, rather than a place someone dumps stuff and sleeps. I'm reliably informed that there is a difference.

With this new found desire to make at least one room habitable comes a minefield of accessorising. Did you know that you can go to a shop and buy decorative pebbles? That's right, decorative pebbles. Presumably from the famed pebble mines of New Guinea. The pebbles (decorative, not the unsightly ones) need to go on things with shelves and surfaces, all of which needs to match or be made to match or 'go' with other things. Pebbles, apparently, belong in a bowl on a shelf taking up space that could easily be used for DVDs, CDs, books or lost coins/picks/keys/biscuits.

The shelf (which matches the rest of the stuff) whose purpose is to support the aforementioned pebbles (decorative) should perhaps be facing a large mirror on the wall. A large mirror creates the illusion of space and creates light and, when facing pebble supporting shelves, the added illusion that you are wealthy enough to own multiple bowls of pebbles.

I even intend to buy cushions. Don't worry, I am going to get big fat cushions - mainly because whatever sofa I get will be very cheap and used or very free and used, so likely will need some comfort enhancers. They will be big, they will be fat and they will have a purpose. Not those scatter cushion things that seem to decorate people’s homes. Let me tell why they are called scatter cushions - it's because that is what happens to them the moment anyone actually wants to sit down comfortably.

When it comes to walls, I've mentioned a mirror. Probably some canvas prints. Maybe some wall hangings. Maybe a combination of all of the above. If I put an X-Men poster in a frame, is it now art?


Olivia said...

Haha, Matt, you surpassed yourself with funniness there. I love what you said about the pebbles, mirrors, and scatter cushions!

Jo said...

Yes, useless crap designed to take up space. And there is an entire global industry dedicated to it.

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