Friday, January 04, 2008

California Dreaming

When thinking of going stateside it’s always to visit people, and I'm very pleased that Maria lives in Pittsburgh - I really did love that place! I am hoping to go back later this year to watch the Steelers play and to visit Maja again.

Equally I'd like to go to Houston because my friend Daniel Caslassy (friend from Hull University) moved out there a few years ago and works for Pi Studios. In fact he helped develop the Guitar Hero III port for the Playstation 2! If I ever do make it down that way I am hoping to persuade Jo and Dave to meet up for a few drinks, so that they can see that beneath this cynical curmudgeony exterior beats the heart of.......well........a cynical curmudgeon! Of course that would mean them coming up from Dallas - but it's in the same state so it's like driving from Surrey to East Sussex - only about half an hour or so.

At no point have I had any desire to visit California, in fact I would go as far as to say it is one of the places on this earth that interests me the least. Until now.

Nick made me aware of this place. He found it due to the guys over at twit have a food podcast now to go with all their techy stuff! Anyway, the place looks amazing and now I have a reason to go to the sunshine state. This sucks. I have written to the proprietors asking them to relocate with no response, so then I sent them this email:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Matt Jones
Date: Jan 3, 2008 4:05 PM
Subject: International Delivery


I'll cut right to the chase - Is there any chance of you setting up an international Chili smuggling operation? I have yet to taste your Chili as I live in Britain, but I've read and heard a bit about you and think it would be a great idea. I would be glad to become one of your shady UK agents - I have my own dark glasses and a hat. There is a paucity of quality Chili over here, with enthusiastic amateurs such as myself cooking batches up for home use - as restaurants here appear to think adding a tin of tomatoes to some minced beef and threatening the resultant mass with a bell pepper constitutes chili.

I haven't worked out the complete logistics of the operation but I would suggest an entry point into the UK through Holland, via Ferry from Rotterdam to Hull. This ferry is always full of drunk and stoned University students and nobody will be looking for Chili Mules as the authorities will be too busy trying to entice students off the radar tower. Once in the UK I will definitely distribute the Chili throughout the land and spread the good word. I definitely will NOT take it all home and eat it every drop with a spoon the size of my head.

Kind Regards,


I have yet to receive a reply, which I think is very rude indeed.


Julie_Gong said...

Pittsburgh! Woot Woot!

lunaliar said...

First, it's 3.5 hours from Houston to Dallas; no easy trek either. Just ask Liv.

Second, California is so awesome that it's where I decided to ensnare my husband for eternity.

Third, when you come stateside, you will discover the awesomeness of Shiner Bock and it's many shades of delightfulness.

MattJ said...

3.5 hours! Rubbish! That's nearly the width of a country! (Using the inernational British Standard Country Measurement :p)

California has yet to reply to my excellent Chili plan, so the jury is still out. I am going to send them shipping routes and forecasts to further flesh out my plan.

Are you putting Shiner Bock up against the mighty Iron City? BEER FIGHT! :D

lunaliar said...

Seriously. I'm down for a beer fight. If you can come to TX in Oct. We'll shuffle on down to Shiner Texas for Bocktoberfest. Imagine it now ... Texas chili and Texas beer during a mild Texas autumn...

I'm getting thirsty... and hungry!

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