Tuesday, July 31, 2007

FOX News Rocks!

It's true, I love FOX News. I love it for so many reasons. I don't know if they still do it but you used to be able to get some FOX News stuff over here late at night, certainly the Beeb used to do a thing where they would show ABC for an hour at some point in the early hours.

FOX News is unique though. It's like a cross between a brainless red neck and a Daily Mail reader. Like some kind of unholy union between the worst qualities of each to produce some bile spewing, ill-informed, white supremecist TV channel. A great thing about it though is the fact that all you need is the tiniest element of free will and the ability to read and you are immediately better informed than every single person involved with the channel, and it becomes a comedy channel.

Unfortunately I am in the UK so am not blessed with the benefit of listening to Republican rent boys Bill O'Reilly or Geraldo Riviera. On the plus side they have an awesome website which is an absolute mine of comedy gems. Today I popped across to see if they had reported on the guy who built a '65 Mustang out of empty Budweiser Cans.

I dutifully clicked on World News and then I was about to click on Europe when I noticed something. Here is the menu list you are presented with once you click 'World News':

World HOME
War on Terror

Col. Corner: David Hunt

Col. Corner: Ollie North

Iran

Iraq

.....
other countries/regions in big list
.....

Europe

Princess Diana

Natural Disasters

.
.
.


Princess Diana, apparently, is now a geographic region and/or current world event. Either that or....... Mrs Redneck may have cheated on Mr Daily Mail? FOX News could be involved with a paternity test, but who with?! Well there is only one publication which lives and breathes Diana, a paper that has managed to shoe-horn the name of a long dead woman of priviledge into every single headline and supplement since 1997. That's right! Is FOX News really the Bastard love child of the Daily Express?! All we need is for Geraldo to pick up his old job as a Jerry Springer wannabe and we got ourselves a show!...

3 comments:

lunaliar said...

I resent that! I come from a long line of dignified red-necked Texicans that love their Shiner Bock just as much as their Chevy's and boots! I was just lucky that the Republican gene skipped a generation!

MattJ said...

Hey! I said the worst qualities of each! Maybe I should have said the worst qualities of the worst of each? :p

Olivia said...

Hehehe, Shiner Bock. They do a nice beer loaf with honey butter at Salt Grass Steakhouse. Oh hey, Matt that's another Houston eatery you should try!

I ought to devote a whole travel blog to your H trip.

By the way, after commenting on your wedding shenanigans blog, I went to my old uni website there and found at least 4 jobs I could apply for. Ooopsie daisy.

 
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