Tuesday, May 01, 2007

White Collar Pikeys

Now I don't use the word Pikey in the same way as Guy 'Mockney' Ritchie [Not Pearce as I previously stated!] or to denigrate travellers. I'm using it in its more 'How cheap do you have to be to do that?' sense.

Allow me to elaborate. A little while ago I brought a 6 pack of Sprite to work with me, we have fridges and stuff that we can use in the kitchen area. Within a few days they had been nicked, which was annoying but I gave the benefit of the doubt - perhaps someone of limited mental capacity thought the management had generously provided a 6 pack of sprite in order to quench the thirst of the 200 or so people who work in my building.

So I brought more in, because it is quite warm at the moment. I then did something I really didn't want to do. Something we are told to do when using the fridges but something I found akin to sewing your name in your socks. I wrote my name on the packaging. I know! Its super lame, but I had to be sure before spewing forth bile and venom!

Anyway, sure enough someone nicks it. Now I don't begrudge my fellow man the opportunity to quench his thirst and if asked I would probably say 'sure, take one!’ But the fact someone is just wandering in and taking my things is a little galling - especially as there is a vending machine about 50 yards away in the other building. Seriously, how cheap do you have to be to steal from your colleagues rather than walk a few yards and spend 50p?

There is no way of not making myself look petty here so I won't try; it's just an irritating and senseless thing that has annoyed me.

It did get me thinking if I was the only one or not. I mean maybe this person lives a glorious life of free sustenance. Stealing my Sprite, and then perhaps having someone else’s salad as a starter. Another person's pasta as a main course then tops it all off with a refreshing yoghurt for their dessert? Kind of like an office Urchin of some description out of a twee novel. Only one that earns quite a large amount of money and rather than being a cute scamp, is just a selfish twat. But other than that the analogy works.

Instead of 'Please sir can I have some more?', it's 'I'm a waste of blood and organs but I still need stuff, rather than ask I will just assume this is mine'

I could of course be completely wrong. The perpetrator could be trying to start a communist revolution within the company; this could be their way of stating that property is theft and that the proletariat should rise up against the soft-drink owning oppressors such as me. 6 cans of sprite out of a total of 6 in the fridge, possibly in the building, could easily constitute and unfair monopoly of Sprite resources within the building. Instead of squirreling the now warm soft drinks in my draw, I could have shared my cool beverages with my fellow workers and united against the common foe of 'that bloke whose wife always makes him really nice dinners who works on the Centrica account'.

Or whoever did it is just a prick.


Anonymous said...

Maybe some form of 'addative' should be placed in the sprite before being placed in the fridge. ;-)

I suggest that , if at all possible, the packaging should be opened very carefully, the drinks 'enhanced', the packaging resealed and then placed in the fridge. Obviously, using plastic bottles of Spite would be easier than cans...


Olivia said...

Ugh, I know just how you feel. When I lived with my aunt, once I bought a nice jar of French mayo that I planned to use in a special recipe prepared with loving care (no ordinary mayo you understand). And then when I went to use it, there was less than quarter left!

I know my aunt had gone into my fridge and used it for her lunch club recipe! I would have said yes if she HAD asked, but I was mad coz she DIDN'T ask first.

Paddy said...

What has Guy Pearce done? Are you sure you're not thinking of Guy Ritchie.

MattJ said...

rofl! Yes i am! Pah! All guys are the same..... D'oh!

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