Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What the Hell Just Happened?!

Here's the story. Basically, much like Lord Goldsmith is Tony's pet lawyer, delivering an interpretation of the law based on what Tony interprets it as - i.e differently to everyone else in the world, Alberto Gonzales does the same for President Exxon.

For those of you who don't know this story, the run down is that 8 US Attorneys got sacked for not being loyal Bushies - sacked for political rather than practical reasons.

Al tried several strategies to get out of admitting responsibility. Firstly there was the Bart Simpson Defence : 'I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, no-one can prove anything'. This didn't work because diary entries, meetings and emails proved he was aware of something going on.

Secondly was the classic Teflon Shoulders approach. This is where any responsibility or decisions making immediately slides off onto those below, resulting in the 'I didn't make any decisions to do with this' defence. Also proven false by the same emails etc. as before.

Thirdly was the Coma defence. This is where Al, bless his heart, fails to remember anything before the current date. In his defence, he didn't act all surprised byt shouting 'It's 2007?! What is the internet?! Who Am I??!', but he did say words to the effect of 'I have no recollection of that' 71 times during a hearing over the matter. Somebody needs to take some Omega-3 supplements.

Finally they have settled on the Goodyear Blimp approach. This isn't a defence as such, more of a scapegoating/distraction from events - 'Look over there! He's resigning! It must be his fault!'.

However, everyone knows that Gonzales is a vacuous waste of blood and organs who thinks torture is OK, and the right to Habeas Corpus doesn't exist in the US. I did put a whole bit here about America isn't a democracy at all (or Britain) but it was very long and boring and this was meant to be a lighthearted look at a travesty and a pathetic little man. However, I've been in work since a little before 6am and now I'm slightly depressed.

The fun, such as it is, will return later I promise!

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