Monday, October 30, 2006

13th - 27th Jan. America, Brace yourself.

OK so I did it. I booked my flights to Pittsburgh this morning. On a side note, I also intend to do some grocery shopping on the net today. I believe the official term is 'Achieving a work/life balance'.

Anyway, Pittsburgh. I have no idea about the average American really, I only have real experience of ones over here when at Uni. All of whom were generally cool with the odd wanker - just like everyone else. However, as I like my stereotypes I think it would be a good idea for you all to guess how quickly I get beaten up because I got drawn into an argument about something I disagree with.

This could be anything; the ludicrous nature of gun laws, the barely simian chimp that runs the country with the mental agility of a sea cucumber, banana republics, The GAP, the continued success of FOX News, Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robinson, the continued refusal of the country to apologise for New Kids on The Block, the use of the word Aluminum, Barney the Dinosaur..... the list is endless.

In an effort at international brotherhood I have compiled some responses for any yinzers (thanks Kt) who feel the need to shoot/stab/slap me after a drunken ramble; The ludicrous nature of weapons brokering laws, the lying self serving lying liar who oozes deceipt and lies with every breath that runs the country, Indonesia, the GAP, the continued success of the Daily Mail, the BNP, UKIP, Michael Howard, Michael Portillo (Port-a-loo), the continued refusal of the country to apologise for any number of 'pop' acts - most notably the Spice Girls, the Telly Tubbies, constantly whingeing about another country changing a language that is constantly in a state of change like we are the only ones who have the right to change it....... the list is endless.

On a lighter note I have compiled a list of American brews I am going to give a whirl when I am over there. Top of the list is Iron City as it is truly local to Pittsburgh so i will be sinking them regularly whether I like it or not, it's a habit I have - always drink the local brew! I've also had Sam Adams recommended to me by the flatmate. I was looking at Yeungling's (or something like that!) but I've been warned off it. I was told, basically, that there is more alcohol in a breath mint.

I should point out I may be over egging the pudding about my cantankerous nature, I'm generally very nice to new people - the ranting creeps in after you get to know me, so I should be relatively safe. Probably.


Arty said...

I can't wait to hear what you think of Pittsburgh.

Arty said...

poop it called me Arty again.


lunaliar said...

You know, Sam Adams is brewed in New England, but marketed across the U.S.

If you get the chance to get your hands on any Texas beer, grab a Shiner Bock. If you like beer that you can almost chew, try Sam Adams' Boston Lager.

Try Dogfish Head Stout if you can find it on tap. It's not so great out of a bottle. Also good is Bass Ale.

But, call me crazy, I'm a Newcastle fan, true and true.

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