Thursday, October 06, 2005

Pod People and 'The Man'

The plot thickens.

I got a text off The Rah at 7:30 this morning. The only thing The Rah is known for doing at 7:30 in the morning is ripping the face off whatever hapless fool woke her at 7:30 in the morning. She assured me, after my initial skepticism over her true identity, that she wasn't pleased about being up that early but the level of activity, beyond grunting 'coffee...' and glaring at anyone whom attempts communication, is still cause for concern

I got into work and was greeted with a cheery MSN message from Mike. Like me, 'Summery ray of sunshine', does not usually accurately describe his disposition. I am pretty sure I know the reason for his chipperness but this is still an unsettling turn of events considering my earlier Rah experience.

After the chirpy 'hello'from Mike, Red Leader arrived in work still, he claims, 'In the Grip of Man Flu'. Really. Then how is it you are not at home whimpering and demanding tea/chicken soup? Why do you resist when you are told to head home and protect your colleagues as I did, so heroically, last week? Well, friends, I have deduced the truth through a cunning series of questions directed towards Red Leader.

He has become a minion of 'The Man'. No longer does he talk of sticking it to him, merely of apathy and acceptance of 'The Man's' rule. He is actively in the employ of 'The Man' in spreading this foul illness to co-workers, already another in the office has fallen foul of this dastardly plot. Sadly, the already weak and sickly Robert's mind has succumbed to 'The Man's' propaganda as a result of the illness. Lies vilely spread by the Red Leader imposter claim that I am the source of the virus, but as you can see from this indisputable documentation I quarantined myself as soon as the deadly virus was detected.

So. It appears the Man Flu is a method of Pod Personing people. The Rah has shown no sign of Man Flu and her natural female resistance should prevent her infection, her odd behaviour may have another cause as yet undetermined. Similarly, my diagnosis of Pod Personitis in Mike may be a little hasty.
There is no doubt in my mind, however, that Red Leader has been replaced by a drone of 'The Man' as part of his dastardly plot. Soon poor, simple Rob may follow, his fragile mind may not be able to cope with the onslaught.

I fear for Emerald also, she has succumbed to Man Flu. She hasn't exhibited any drastic changes in behaviour though so it may be that her natural female resistance to the disease will protect her from being Pod Personed. I pray this is the case.


Mike said...

No pod people here, I am sure things will return to normal and my usual miserable demeanour will make a full recovery. And just to prove I'm no pod person... "and then a hell-beast ate them".

MattJ said...

Praise be! A soldier of the Light you remain!

Mike said...

"Well she's wrong."

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