Monday, October 10, 2005

Ode to Emi, Burning Light [ed:(Love)]of My Life

[NB: All Bold-type and bracketed text including the title are post Emi-Comment Edits I've added to reflect her observations of the original post]

Ok, So Emi is ill [Dying]. She's really quite [literally at Death's Door] poorly. As a result, she isn't in a particularly chipper mood. Earlier in the day I have been cast [Perfectly Justifiably] as evil incarnate and a product of Satans own Backside for not mentioning her enough in my blog . Luckily [In a grandly magnanimous gesture] she has provided me with plentiful material for her own mini-post.

So she's sick [Mortally ravaged with disease] and she has to do some [Gruelling] online test thing that counts towards her degree [Bastards]. She needs a password to get into the testing system, which they email her to her University Email account. Which is broken. So here's the equation so far:

Poorly [Dying] Emi = Bad Mood
Poorly Emi [Dying]* [Devil's own workforce intent on the corruption of all things good (For all things good read: Emi)]Incompetent Uni IT Staff = 'Stop Pulling My Face Off, I Need That!'

However, being calm, collected and together she was not to be foiled [by stupid Boys] and took the standard stock approach to the problem. Keep hammering your details to the email system with increasing outbursts of profanity until the useless piece of crap works.

Eventually [Even though dying] she got into the system and is primed to take some [evil] test on Medieval literature or some such. It does beg the question, what the hell are they thinking putting a test up online for English Students [Bastards]? I mean, if they wanted to mess around with things that invariably don't work [Bastards] like they are supposed to they would have done Computer Science surely?

Anyway, now she knows the secret of 'How Technology Works' she should have no further problems. Remember: Swear, Hit, Retry thing You tried 1 thousand times. repeat with increasing vehemence.

Oh. The title, similar to something Emi [Cleverly and with Immense forethought] suggested I use as a post about her. So why did I agree? well firstly, she is pretty damned ace [damned right].

Secondly - She's lovely but she's tired, ill [Dying] and [Full of sharply observed pearls of Wisdom] annoyed. I don't care if she is 250 miles away, I know what's good for me [Clearly not, you're a dead man].


MattJ said...

Commennt from Emi: (I am going to the remove the 'refer this post to a friend link, it's foiling quite a few people, they keep emailing me instead of posting).

"the title was meant to be "Ode to Emi, Love of my Life!!" and by the way i'm not
"ill" I am DYING! and I'm not annoyed - i am just stating a fact when i say that
everybody is conspriring against me and i hope they all rot in Hell! Other than
that i'm fine :)"

MattJ said...

As you can see, I surround myself with people who have as sunny a disposition as myself.

MJ said...

sorry for writing a comment that has nothing to do with the post at hand....i just wanted to let u know that in this side of the world it is 3:20 am and i am studying for a very interesting exam tomorrow..and i am taking a break so decided to take a look at your blogg se if there was something to keep me entratained for the next few minutes....nothing....your last entry was 15 hours ago.....what is wrong with you? abandoning me at this time of need?
ok...better go take another red bull, smoke at least one cigarret and go back to my book, who by the way is co-authored by James D. Watson, who developed the famous double helix DNA model...isn't that cool?
by the way...sorry for any spelling or grammar brain is barely working in spanish at this time

Famulus said...

For the record, my last (official) exam was 8 years ago and if anyone should ever require me to sit another I shall require payments in a combination of gold, blood and virgins.

I don't like exams.

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