Thursday, October 20, 2005

Dream Come true?.....

Those of you that know me may have noticed that I talk. A at great length. Whether you want me to or not. In fact people that don't know me may have noticed this too as I am also quite loud, especially after a few medicinal drinks.

It may also have come to your attention that I like to drink, sometimes a lot. I also like curry. A lot.

So what's the point in me telling you this? Consider: Tonight we are having the second Project Meal I've attended since I joined the firm, which is actually pretty good going considering I've only been here 4 months. In fact after today I would have had 4 free meals incorporating 3 free drinking sessions since I started. Sadly the 4th was a free lunch, and they frown on drunken singing in the office apparently.

Anyway, the meal. It's in an Indian Restaurant, and I've been asked to run the post meal quiz. Ok, to recap - Free Curry, Free Beer all night, captive audience for an hour to listen to me talking crap. I couldn't have planned it better, what are the crazy fools thinking? There is, as always, a minor flaw in this arrangement - the quiz is after the meal. Now the last project meal saw me polish off 7 bottles of San Miguel before the starter arrived, to be fair it was a long time coming but still......

I think I hear the words 'Corporate Credit Card' and go a bit crazy, I'll be making sure I can at least see by the time I get up to do the quiz.

Other stuff. I am getting an overwhelming urge to buy a new PC, I do kind of need one and by need I of course mean want. I do spend a lot of time on my PC though so it's not like it's a waste of money, and my credit card is feeling very lonely at the moment. I don't have a girlfriend, pet or any real responsibility so it's not like I am neglecting anyone either. I have many transparent reasons as to why I am going to blow a huge chunk of cash I don't have but the one I will probably use is the blanket 'Need something to cheer me up' excuse that covers most of my unnecessary purchases.

I am currently in the process of turning over a new leaf. When I was a student I ate quite well, cooked a lot and generally didn't eat too much crap. I mean I ate crap, just not every day. Now all I eat is processed rubbish, so I am going to stop with that and start eating properly again, this is all in a vain effort to become an 'Olive Skinned Adonis whom beautiful wimminz will throw themselves at'. Actually I'll settle for one tripping up and accidentally stumbling into me, but you get the idea.

So stage one began on Tuesday when I went out and bought a load of fruit - satsumas, plums, grapes and.....errrrm..... fig rolls. Ok the last isn't technically fruit but they are nice so bite me. I am determined to do that 5 portions of fruit or veg a day thing as often as I can (think there will be a lapse today :)). Yesterday I decided to give up smoking as soon as my pack of cigarettes is finished so stage 2 was 'Buy No More Cigarettes'. I was going to keep the quitting thing to myself but this way I can, hopefully, be shamed into keeping it up. So far so good, lets see how I hold out once I run out though. Next I am going to register with a doctor down here so I can get my shoulder looked at and finally join the gym. Once all of these things are achieved I'll need to find other things to keep my mind occupied but this'll do for now.

In case you're confused as to where all the crap jokes are, fear not they will return I just need to put this down in writing so I can treat it in a biblical 'So it is written so it shall be done' kind of way.

Anyway, more entertaining stuff later.

[Edit] Forgot my quote! :

War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography. -- Ambrose Bierce


[/Edit]

5 comments:

lunaliar said...

HA! I turned over a new leaf too! I quit smoking as well, and trust me, you'll need to go to the gym after you quit b/c all of the sudden all that rubbish that you've consumed in the past will catch up with your girlish figure.

MattJ said...

Girlish figure? I haven't quite gone as far as developing man boobs just yet! Getting pretty close though......

lunaliar said...

Yet again, HA! Don't come down with a case of "bitch tits"!

MJ said...

About quitting smoking.....what is wrong with you matt? no one likes a quitter... so think about it....

Olivia said...

Hops contain oestrogen, so lots of beer will endow frequent drinkers with man boobs :P

 
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