Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Change of pace

I've been complaining far too much, even more than normal. To redress the balance I am reproducing one of my favorite Bill Bailey stand up bits here!:

What I hate are these foods you get in the supermarkets that try and make you feel guilty. I saw this thing 'RSPCA monitored chicken'.................... It's obviously not 24 hours is it? At some point it's had its head ripped off and it was basted in a lemon and cracked pepper sauce! Obviously the RSPCA guy just nipped out for a smoke, came back and 'noooo!'.
I've noticed though, food getting very poncy, oh dear! Even in Scotland. I thought it'd be lovely home type food up there but oh no! Sundried Tomatoes, Pan Fried Chicken - Pan Fried Chicken?! What else you gonna fry it in? A Bucket?! Shoe? Hub cap? 'Shoe fried chicken please, and errm, I'll have a rabbit done in an old pair of gardening trousers'
Sun dried tomatoes. How long you gotta wait for your tomatoes that's what I want to know! 'Och it's a wee bit cloudy!...... come back tomorrow!'
No, simple food that's what I like. Just a tin of tomatoes, on the front a photograph with some tomatoes on a plate. Underneath it says 'Serving suggestion'. Just tip em out, done! Few friends round, two tins.

OK, it's better to watch or listen to the guy but it passed the time.


Alison said...

Hey, just thought I'd check out your blog & thank you for commenting on mine...I had to laugh at your tagline "Does exactly what it says on the tin." I'm sure you meant it as a joke, but my husband pokes endless fun at me for being afraid to deviate from the instructions on the soup label! Anyway, I'm sure you'd love Austin (which is not a typical southern or Texas city, though I frankly love most of Texas), and I only wish I could afford a visit in that direction! I see you are in Surrey now, but you mentioned being Welsh and I've blogged before that Wales was one of my favorite places I've ever been...though I was only there for half a day!

MattJ said...

It's actually a reference to an intensely irritating series of adverts for a company called Ronseal.
"Ronseal quick drying wood-stain. Does exactly what it says on the tin!"

Wales is very much a place if you like the outside. We do green very well. And hills & mountains.

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